good guys finish last

Yeah I know.. itz my philosophical bullshit again.. Crap not because it wont make sense to u .. but maybe because in reality it does not really matter what one single person does or thinks unless the person is Obama.The truth though is we people never seem to be short of advise because somehow to us no matter what our decisions are , they are always logical and justified to us.

The truth though if far from it. Many of us Claim to be good people but in really doubt if a majority of us really are.. i mean we maybe good fathers,mothers,sons, professionals and what ever role we take.. but can we really claim to be good ppl.. May i am a cynic but i am yet to meet more than probably a dozen ""good humans"".... and then we wonder whats wrong with the world .. when the truth is it is just us who aren't good enough.

we always somehow find it easier to mistrust then trust, to pronounce guilty without a trial.... All of us have trust issues and insecurities and instead of fighting the same we tend to give in.We just have to realise we have to trust the ppl we love or else this world can be pretty lonely.We also need to broaden our idea of a human . I mean charity begins at home is complete and utter nonsense... charity begins were it is needed. there are no sides which can be taken when you do good. But the truth is our point of view is skewed and we only see what our eyes see..

Our egos are so big that it drives me crazy. People need to realize that life is more than having green and plastic in your wallet .. life is about breathing and then breathing slowly again ..

imperfections

life is full of imperfections.They say our imperfections make us human.All our lives we keep striving to hit the right notes, work to remove these anomalies.The problem though lies in the fact that no one has actually seen the perfect. Perfect is just a phantom . A creation of our mind.A fixation on something so abstract that any attempt to describe usually ends up as pointless verbiage, literary garbage

Yet we all pretend , pretend to be the perfect son,brother,mother,lover and any other role thrust upon us as a duty, though personally i perceive it as a dogma.We all our covered with stigmata symbolizing the fact that we continue to breathe our lives.

Its only natural then that when cracks appear in this little world of ours we feel scared.All our secret fears come out and there we lay bare our soul without the veils of our million masquerades.

Yet at other times we see our inability to create that perfect little world of ours as a failure. When the truth is there is no perfect.

Frankly dear, life's a bit overrated.

Cutz

one more time a cut on the wrist,
itz strange the way it bites
numerous they are but every1 pains afresh
the body never seams to get used to it
the blood still flows out it still is red
this pain now has started to give me the highs
theese wounds they don`t seem to heal
they`ve become a part of me every1 embebeded every1 so real
afraid to look lest i touch
but theese cuts they seem to open up
they never go away never die down
slowly m disintegrating
my very exsistence is threatened
unstoppable pain it can never be lessened
as much as i want
these dreams they always come back
come back to haunt
the pain always accumalates adding up every time
dont touch these wounds dont come near them
i dont think i would be able to bear
i don't think i would be able to share
some coffins are better burried some tales r better untold
sometime itz better to accept life as it unfolds
cauz u will never know the pain it is to be me
u would never realize that JAABIS can never be free

Turbulence

i need answers to unasked questions;
i need to feel all the emotions.
who m i, i ask myself m i really who i m;
i feel pain i feel sorrow m happy sometimes;
sometimes m lonely still i don't feel human enough;
i really don't feel alive.
some skeltons haunt me, memories which r supposed to be good;
still here i m when everything is moving
in the middle motionless i stood.
they will never understand me cauz probably there is no real me;
m changing m changing with time i dont feel nothing not even me.
i need answers to every mirage i see i need answers to
every truth,
what lies inside of me would never really be understood.
there is a fire burning raging from the time i opened my eyes;
i feel strange at times doing things which ordinary ppl never could.
everytime the path is dark, everytime i take a step back;
a bull inside me arises to fight for every inch, yeah fight for every inch i should.
it ain't easy living with the burden i shoulder
not a burden of guilt but a burden of responsibility;
responsibility of my potentials my ability.
m i the 1 m i the one m i the one i ask my self again n again n again
afraid of the answer i never reply back m afraid of the unfelt pain.
is it normal to feel bad for everything which ain't good ;
is it normal to have goosebums on just the mention of ur nation's name;
is it normal to seek vengence n denomination;.
is it normal to be heartbroken n still be cold stone;
is it normal to behave JANG n be JAABIS alone.

Tilt

One night he never came back
He just didn't have anything to come back to
Didn't know when or how he had lost all that he had
He never ran away it was just that he never returned
And was it hope he sought or a freedom he yearned
Felt week ahhh so empty inside
An u saw only long and blurry eyes
Freckled now the face that had been
battered bones the skin turned so pale
It seems each line has itz own little tale..
Pain provides salvation n despair brings respite
N no longer he avoids no longer he tries to hide
Steps r slow now he can feel the end is near
He looks up into the vastnes one last time
Death is inconsequential itz the rebirth that JAABIS will fear

".............................................."

fucked up all inside
fuck the world dont care if its right
rusting up beneath wooden hollow inside
with so much shit cluttered in my mind
i have become insane , inerasable
everything new is fast finishing up all my space,
and i want to run back in time
and get rid of some of this waste
my mind on the brink of hemorrhage
any moment the blood stops to trickle
and as i wait here waiting to die
itz the first time in this life that jaabis would not lie
m just happy that soon it may all end
i dont have to fight it anymore no the curtains fall
itz when jaabis is forever gone..............................